Checking out

Last night my dear hubby and I went to the store to get some prescriptions.  On the way out of the store I went into one of my seizures.  I just check out.  I kept walking with him I guess, but no one was home.  He said that I was kind of wobbly walking with him.  He asked me a question and I didn’t answer.  He realized that I was having a seizure.  He thought I was going to fall at one point so he stopped and just held on to me.

Now when I started to come around I remember seeing people walking towards me.  Apparently we were standing right in the middle of the aisle.  It looked to me like the people were coming towards me in some distorted way.  It was like something from a movie, or a nightmare.

Then I got hit with the headache!  Oh how I hate that headache!  It makes one eye droop.  It is very strange!

Nate said that a little girl was watching me and asking her mommy what was wrong with me.  I feel bad.  I don’t want to scare people!  Obviously there is nothing I can do about it, but still.

On the way home Nate said that he was glad that I wasn’t on the bus or something.  He was afraid that someone would steal my purse.  I was thinking that I would miss my stop and wind up who knows where.

There have been a lot of things in my life that I have had no control over.  Decisions that other people make comes to mind.  The weather is another.  Aging is one that nobody can get away from.  Sure they can do things to avoid the appearance of aging and to be strong and healthy, but they still age. Now I have no control over seizures.

It seems to me that God is reminding me that He is in charge.  He has the ultimate say over what happens.

We like to do all sorts of things to feel secure.  We save for our retirements, then the market crashes and all of our hard earned money disappears.  We buy a nice home and take good care of it, but a fire or flood can take it away in a heartbeat.

What I am reminded of is that we have to have faith.  Some may mock me for a belief in God and say that it is my way of feeling secure.  However, I know with all of my heart, that come what may, He is there.

The first Article of Faith in my religion says, “We believe in God the Eternal Father and in his son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.”

This is what I believe deep in my core.  We may look at life and see nothing but a mess, but God sees the whole picture.  He sees much more than we do.  I believe that there is something much larger at work than we can see.  Believing such, I think that it is our faith that will keep us going when everything else seems to be falling apart.

Sending my prayers and thoughts to all who are losing homes to fires and floods right now.

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