I met the nicest lady today. She bought my washer and dryer actually.
Talk about someone who is handling plan b, this sweet woman is handling it wonderfully. She had a knee surgery a couple of years ago and hasn’t been able to walk since. She is getting a full knee replacement next month.
She has been through two nasty divorces. She was accompanied by a man who is her friend. They have been friends for 12 years. His wife died shortly before that. They travel together, camp together, play cards together, and look out for each other. She said that people don’t believe them when they say it is totally platonic. I watched her smile at him and him gently take her arm. Watching them together I would say that there is a lot of love between them.
She said that when she needs things fixed, or someone to help her pick up a washer and dryer, he is there for her.
In the mean time she still has her space and he has his.
We have neighbors across the street who are living life their own way too. They have different religions. They have separate bedrooms, and separate TVs. They love each other and look out for each other though. She gardens and he is right there helping her out. He bought her iris bulbs as a present. She teases him about his HAM radio. I helped her put together a shadow box filled with things from his years in the Marine corps. They are both about as stubborn as can be, but they make it work.
My grandparents were both in their second marriages when I was growing up. Both of my grandmas died when my parents were kids. So I only knew my step-grandmothers. I loved them so much! Sometimes I think my aunts and uncles didn’t give my Grandma, on my dad’s side, the respect she deserved. She was a wonderful lady! They just didn’t see the relationship like I did. She took such good care of my Grandpa even when he was lost in Alzheimer’s disease.
I remember watching my Grandma and Grandpa on my mother’s side teasing each other. He pinched her behind. He teased her and teased her, she turned to him and said, “Oh turn your hearing aid off!” He didn’t have a hearing aid. It was just their way of lovingly teasing and playing.
Being older and having been through divorces I totally get it.
Nate and I are older. My children are grown. His are almost grown. We just have Miss E who is starting high school. We love our grandchildren and wish we could see them more.
We may not have a marriage that others look at as perfect. It is perfect for us though. We are here for good. We take care of each other. I can’t work because of my epilepsy. I do all that I can around here though. Nate always lets me know that it is enough. We have separate TVs, we have different hobbies, different tastes in food, but we love each other.
The thing about Nate that first really made me love him, was that he let me know it was okay to be me. What a breath of fresh air!
So we handle plan b together… our own way.