Introvert vs Extrovert

Out of my shell

I’ve read a lot of thoughts about this lately.  Are you an introvert or are you an extrovert?

I am an introvert. See one of the things about introverts is that they know they are introverts.  Extroverts tend to want to belong to everything so they typically say they fit into both categories.  An introvert just knows.

I once went to this party… actually the truth is a TRIED to go to this party where I only knew a couple people.  It nearly killed me to think of getting out the car and walking into a stranger’s home.  I drove around the block three times, parked for 10 minutes before I finally gave up and went home.  I was so mad at myself for not having the nerve to go inside.

Party atmospheres drain me.  I prefer a small group of friends.  The kicker here is how do I make friends?  Get an extrovert friend who takes you along.

I had the best group of friends in Idaho.  We played cards almost every week.  Even they said that they thought they would never get me out of my shell.

One day we were playing a game of Cranium, I think.  I had to get my partner to understand my clue by humming “Wild Thing”.  It is harder than it sounds by the way.  I bust up laughing!  The harder I tried to get it across, the harder I laughed!  It was so darn funny!  So the song “Wild Thing” became a running joke between us all.

Typically introverts marry extroverts.  My first husband was an extrovert.  However, Nate is an introvert like me.  It makes it difficult to get to know people when both spouses are introverts.  Although we are both just fine hanging out at the house with each other.  We understand when the other needs their alone time.  For us it is a recharging thing, it’s not sulking or pulling away from each other.  Being quiet doesn’t mean that we are unhappy or unfriendly.  We simply enjoy life more by observing than participating.  We love just as deeply.

In my opinion (because I’m not an expert at anything really) extroverts can speak their mind more easily.  If they offend someone, oh well, they spoke their mind so deal with it.  If an introvert speaks their mind it doesn’t go over so well.  We fret over whether or not it was the right thing to say.  What if we hurt their feelings?  We tend to mull it over and mull it over.

I have a dear friend who is definitely an extrovert.  Something she did bothered me so much I knew I needed to confront her about it.  It took weeks of building up the courage, and figuring out just how to word it.  When I finally told her what was bothering me she said, “Oh, I can see how that bothered you.  Why didn’t you just tell me before?”  I thought, “All that work, all that fretting and all I had to do was say something?”  Oh how I complicate things!

Extroverts tend to judge us as if we thought the same way they do.  We don’t.  And visa versa.

Nothing is wrong with either way of being.  There are pros and cons to both.  Both complement each other.  We are just wired different.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

3 thoughts on “Introvert vs Extrovert

  1. I think naturally I’m an extrovert as I like the idea of connecting with people. But being picked on as a child just turned me the other way for a very long time. Like you the idea of going to a party alone makes me very anxious. If I go with someone, even if I don’t stick by them the whole evening, I’m ok. And I still feel very awkward even with friends. I apparently hide it well though.

  2. This is a very good read. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am an introvert myself and I find it true that people (especially extroverts) tend to judge us incorrectly. I hope that by writings like these, this kind of social stereotyping can be changed someday.

  3. I am married to an extrovert as well. I always wondered what it would be like to be married to another introvert. It would be nice for your partner to understand your wanting to be alone without taking it personal.

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